Welcome Letter for Individuals New to Therapy

Hi there,

Welcome! I'm very excited that you're considering therapy and taking this important step toward your well-being. It's commendable that you're investing time researching and seeking a potential therapist. Let me provide some insight into what we commonly discuss and how I approach these topics:

Intense Emotions
Many individuals seek help because they grapple with intense and unpleasant emotions that seem to consume them. I use evidence-based strategies to help you regulate them. I also like to help you make sense of where these feelings come from and how this may relate to your upbringing. Sometimes we feel a certain way and we never have someone teaching us how to manage it. It is never too late to learn and you will feel a sense of connection to yourself and autonomy as you attune to your feelings and learn to deal with them in a healthy way.

Unhealthy coping behaviours
Everyone goes through emotional ups and downs, and chances are you have already developed ways to survive and cope, whether that is a conscious decision or not. We learn since a young age from our surroundings ways to deal with things. The thing about these coping mechanisms, is that they may not always be helpful, at least not across all situations. For example, if you have learned to keep the peace by not voicing your concerns, it probably was effective, if not essential, when you were very young and lived in an emotionally unstable environment. However, keeping the peace may not help if you need to call out something unreasonable at work. Sometimes, these coping mechanisms may not serve you or the people around you. One of the things we talk about in the session is to understand how you cope with matters so that you can acknowledge where it comes from, how it helped you in the past, and proceed to make your own intentional and purposeful decisions to cope when you are met with the ebbs and flows of life. If you have found yourself stuck in your existing coping mechanisms, I want to applaud you for trying your very best. After all, these coping mechanisms have served their purpose and met your needs at some point. Let me help support you so that we can make sense of and tweak these coping mechanisms so that they work at the best interest of yourself and people around you.

Negative thoughts
Thoughts can sometimes be scary, depressing or utterly self-deprecating, negatively affecting our sleep, social connection and mood. It gets worse when we are alone in our thoughts and start believing in them. Our thinking processes and belief mechanisms are often built over the years, based on our upbringing and experiences. Entertaining our negative thoughts is like throwing wood into a fireplace - the fire, aka our feelings, would never be put off. Sometimes, you may know cognitively that those thoughts are untrue or unhelpful, but you still feel strongly about them. It is in my passion to help you unhook yourself from these unhelpful thoughts and create new thoughts and belief systems that will help you feel better and make wiser decisions.

You don't need to have a diagnosis to see a therapist. Think about a gym-goer seeing a personal trainer - the personal trainer is here to share what they know and give you an individualised plan to maximise your fitness goals. No problem is too small. Give yourself the permission to give this space a go, and explore your inner world in a safe and confidential space. I assure you that our mutual efforts will lead to a long-lasting outcome.

The way I work is not just giving you the tools, but I also value the therapeutic alliance. I believe that a good therapist-client connection will not only get you a good companion on the mental health journey, but is healing in itself. Such a good connection can in itself rewire the brain that allows the person to relate to themselves and others differently.

A good connection, to me, requires a safe and nonjudgemental space; the therapist to be a good listener and good attunement, and the client to be ready to share about themselves and be upfront with how they think the therapy is going.

There is so much more I want to tell you, but it is difficult to convey it in a letter. I urge you to give therapy a shot. I can't wait to be part of your healing journey.

Warmly,

Crystal Lee